What is my essence, what is that which moves me, and what is that I want to contribute, and share with the world? How did I start that journey within and what made me do it?
My desire is to help and inspire every being that resonates with my message. My purpose is to guide and assist in the journey within, in connecting with your essence, that which makes you unique. And so from there, you can find the answers that have always existed, your life purpose, your mission.
For you to remember who you really are and live, from this knowledge, a full and happy life, doing what ignites your soul and represents you, finding gratitude and love in everything around you.
I consider myself a rebel and a fighter. From an early age, although without being aware for many years, I moved through life with an inner force that I did not know very well what it was. It was an inner voice that drove me to do certain things; most of the time provoking disapproval in my family environment.
Still, I never stopped listening to that voice, and it always guided me towards an invaluable inner learning, sometimes pleasurable, sometimes painful, but without a doubt, a learning for which I am very grateful because it lead me to be who I am today.
With my rebellious spirit, and always moved by that internal force, which at first was meaningless, I became independent very young, by stubbornness, and then, although I returned to my parents’ house for a short period of time, I went to live abroad.
There, the discovery, the journey within really began, the battles with my demons and inner shadows were constant. I hit rock bottom emotionally on a couple of occasions, but I always had that courage that keep me going, not without suffering, obviously.
I had started the path of self-discovery, of wondering why. Why life was so unfair, why did I have to suffer so much, and why everything went against me, when I wanted the opposite.
I began to understand that my strong will, of the Aries that I am, made me keep going; but I didn’t respect myself, nor did I love myself enough.
I always looked outside for what I was missing inside, not understanding that what I lacked inside depended only on me to find it, but not outside, but inside instead.
Gradually, I began to undo the entanglement of my mind. After reading books about positivity and how to change the perspective on life and my vision of the world, in 2004 I stumbled upon Reiki, I was very interested; and I decided to continue investigating that less conventional field.
Later I studied aromatherapy; the therapeutic relationship of essential oils with the nervous system and the etheric field captivated me. From there followed complementary training in anatomy and physiology; different disciplines of holistic massage, and so I kept expanding my knowledge in energy and spiritual matters.
So, yes, I was expanding knowledge, not coherence.
Coherence, the big Key
In my case, the theory and all the knowledge acquired was great, but even so, I did not feel that I was able to change my world.
I began to understand the importance of coherence between what you think, feel and say. If these are not aligned, you can try whatever you want, but it will not help you!
Or maybe it will serve you on the odd occasion, but if you are not coherent at heart and maintain it over time, at some point the illusion is broken, and you see it reflected in your reality.
My great challenge
The biggest challenge of my life so far came 7 years ago, when my husband was left in a coma after a visit to the dentist.
Yes, you hear it right. I can’t describe in words everything I felt during the 10 days I was in that situation, but the journey within and all the spiritual learnings acquired in the previous 10 years began to gain meaning and relevance; having a fundamental role when facing that situation, at a mental and emotional level.
It was horrible. Still, I was thankful that my husband didn’t suffer.
For the first time in my life, I realized the magnitude of unconditional love; and that when you vibrate from there, the ego has no place.
I was worried about him suffering, and I remember telling him, as he lay unconscious in the hospital bed, to do what he had to, that if it was his time to leave, I would had to accept it as best as I could, but that I knew he was always going to be with me.
That what mattered above all was him; the well-being of his soul, of his being. I was so surprised to hear myself say those words, that then I realized that no matter how painful the experience I was living was, the unconditional love I felt inside was bigger than anything else.
Ten days later the light of his body faded away and my world collapsed, until I integrated his departure, and I understood that energy is not destroyed, but transformed, and that the soul leaves the physical body we know, but its essence always remains because we are everything.
Bringing light to the Darkness
I began to feel more from the heart, and even though the physical loss was painful for a long time, for not having him, physically, in this world of matter, the inner peace of understanding that he still existed in his energy, in his essence, helped me to relieve that pain.
Still, I hit rock bottom. I made many changes in my life, I made decisions that I would have never contemplated making a few months before. I had to reconfigure my entire reality to adapt it to the new situation.
I went from one extreme to the other without realizing it; but in that process I also felt that I was guided by that inner force, which without being able to give explicit meaning, allowed me to fall low to the ground, to feel all the pain, and at the same time I never lost the sense of my being.
That inner strength was still alive, waiting for the right moment to shine again and remind me once more of that essence that I thought I had lost.
Although I never lost it. It was simply set aside, as a reference point to focus on when I was ready. Like the compass you know you have and use when you are ready to get back on your path. I needed to heal and respect my own process.
The Journey within continues
I keep learning every day, it never ends. There are always shadows that appear when you least expect them, and now I see them as a unique opportunity to grow, therefore, I appreciate them, no matter how inconvenient they may seem at first glance.
Because once you put the focus on the shadow, it stops being a shadow; and from the understanding of the mind and the heart you observe it, and you have another perspective; then, you recognize it and integrate it. And suddenly, it stops being so terrifying and threatening, and from a place of comprehension and love, you understand it, and it transforms.
So, the journey within continues, and the important thing is not to lose that compass, to know that it never abandons you; that we simply put it aside until we find the strength in believing in ourselves again.
Once you find the courage to be you, from the heart; being honest with yourself; finding coherence between your mind, your actions, your words and your heart, wonderful things begin to happen. Situations, experiences and moments appear before you that strengthen that feeling of knowing, from some deeper place, that you are on the right track.