Dealing with grief

I would be lying if I said that it is easy to get over the loss of someone you love, especially if the bond is very close.

It requires inner strength and understanding beyond what we have been taught to go through grief without losing yourself in the process.

Each person is different

It is very easy to fall into a destructive spiral that traps you and engulfs you in a dark pit from which it is very difficult to get out.

However, the grieving process is inevitable.

It is necessary to go through that process even though each person experiences it differently. I would not be able to define what the phases are, and how they show up, since I feel that each individual experiences them according to their background, their emotional state and their spiritual development.

If we are able to open our mind beyond physical forms, we can experience extraordinary personal growth and an openness of consciousness to everything that our senses do not perceive.

Feel the emotions without allowing them to take over

The roller coaster of emotions is inevitable. There are many adjustments and readjustments to be made at all levels; assimilate, integrate, understand (or not) the new reality, and above all accept the situation.

Emotions are energy in motion, and it’s important to pay attention when we get carried away by them irrationally.

It is essential to release sadness, anger, rage, pain and any other negative emotions, as long as we keep them at bay, and do not let them take control of our lives.

On the contrary, repressed emotions can cause deep emotional disorders that can end up affecting our lives, in the short or long term.

It is important to externalize these emotions to transmute, transform and gradually begin to heal. That energy we release in such difficult times can help us as fuel to transmute so much pain and move forward.

My process

Today it’s been 8 years since John left. After 10 days waiting for a miracle, although anticipating what was going to happen and at the same time trying to omit that reality, his light went out.

It’s hard to describe what that experience was like for me, yet I remember it as if it were yesterday.

I felt my world crumble around me, and everywhere I looked there was a precipice. That feeling lasted for a while, although after the initial hurricane of emotions came an inexplicable calm.

Maybe it was because, even back then, I felt that we were more than a physical body. I felt that John was more than what my eyes could perceive; he had a soul, that energy, that essence that seemed to go beyond any physical form.

Somehow I knew that he would always be with me, that his soul needed to evolve and that perhaps he had already fulfilled his goal on this plane and, he had decided to follow his path and change to the next level.

Do I miss John? Of course I do. A day doesn’t go by without thinking about him. Everyone who knows me will know what he meant to me, how happy I was, and how his existence changed mine.

Expanding awareness

It may sound crazy, but from the beginning I felt that no matter what happened John was going to be with me forever.

Maybe it was that craziness that helped me from falling into a bottomless pit. Perhaps it was all the learning and spiritual journey I had accumulated that helped me through those difficult times.

If we take a step back, from a pragmatic point of view, putting feelings aside; we understand that energy is not destroyed but transformed.

So if we are energy; when we die we leave this physical plane to continue the journey of the soul. We transcend this reality to move to a higher level and follow our path.

Looking at it this way is less painful, although in reality the pain is ours because of what we stop having here. We never contemplate the possibility that perhaps there is more after death and in part, this limiting way of thinking condemns us to suffering, sadness and pain, due to lack of understanding.

If we could open the mind and expand our consciousness, leaving the door open to the possibility that we are a soul incarnated in a physical body that comes to this world to experience, then the vision of death changes slightly.

I am grateful

I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to live so many wonderful experiences with John, grateful for his unconditional love, his mastery, and everything I learned about the world and myself thanks to him.

I am happy because I am able to feel beyond our physical reality, to understand and continue learning that we are energy, multidimensional, spiritual beings living an experience in this reality.

It gives me peace to understand that there is something in each of us that endures over time, that transforms and evolves, that the essence of that loved one is still with us, although in a different way.

I am grateful to be able to feel that John continues to accompany me on my journey, from another place, guiding me and giving me strength when I sometimes falter.

I am aware that each of us will experience death from our beliefs, emotions and circumstances and may not coincide with my way of seeing it, which I accept and respect.

And I totally agree with the phrase that says: “pain is inevitable but suffering is optional”.

Thank you for so much wherever you are. I love you.

Silvia x